Talk It Out Tuesday: Coffee Chat
You Are Your Business with Dov + Nicole of Twin Flame Revolution
Join us as our guests, Dov and Nicole, help us navigate how we are connected to our businesses on a profound and energetic level. This is a coffee chat that you WON'T want to miss!
Episode 9 Coffee Chat Replay
Episode 9 Podcast
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Lauren Dragon-Cook: Hey everybody! How are you all doing?! We are about to have my friends Nicole and Dov join us! Without further ado… let me introduce you to Dov and Nicole. These are two of my very favorite ladies. I met them last year (wow) in Miami, and they are truly my sisters from another mista! Love them to pieces. We are going to let them take the floor and do their thing. So roll with it loves!
Dov: We are so happy to be with you this morning. Thank you again, Lauren. It is really nice to just connect and talk about things. We are consciousness mentors. We work with how your consciousness serves you or doesn’t service you in your life. And we work with energy. A lot of you might be familiar with the concept of energy as in “I’ve had enough caffeine today”, but we are talking about the energy as in the energy that makes up everything. Some of these concepts are not at all just spiritual or quantum, they are really scientific. We really understand the vibration and edgy creates all things.
You are constantly creating, projecting, forming things all of the time and our job is to bring to your attention what are you creating?
Dov: And what do you want to create? How are you going to get there? We can get really bogged down and start to focus on things outside of us a lot, really forgetting to focus on this internal projector. So today we are going to talk about YOU ARE YOUR BUSINESS, but with a twist. What does it mean when I say “You are your business”.
So imagine in life, you are looking at all of these things outside of you, some of which we need to look at. We need to learn how to read and write. We need to learn how to deal with tech stuff. But what we often don’t focus on is what it going on inside? In our world we will have breakdown here or there. Maybe it is our money flow, maybe its our relationships, maybe it is this or maybe is it that… and what we want to do is go to the outside.
I tell people… think of yourself as a projector. If you are looking at movie that is being projected on the wall and all of the sudden the movie starts to glitch, isn’t it non-sensical, isn’t it illogical to run to the wall and try to fix it? Because that is just the projection. Right? We have to turn around to go to the projector. So the projector is YOU. That is your internal state. So when we work with people we look at what is going on internally for them, and a lot of it we can’t see. We can’t necessarily get it into our subconscious… some of it is just stuff we are carrying around like magnets. Your past traumas. Your experiences. Some people come to me and say “Oh I’m over that”. But its not a cold. It is in our cells, it is in our DNA.
So today we are going to talk about how your business is EVERYTHING YOU. Everything you is relevant to your business.
Nicole: That’s right.
Dov: “I feel low self-esteem”. “I am fighting with my partner”. “I don’t have a partner and it makes me feel bad about myself”. “I’m having an issue with food”. “I’m having an issue with anxiety”.
All of these things are effecting your bottom line, your connection with your clients, your productivity, your ideas, your inspiration, and that’s the conversation Nicole and I are having with our clients. This conversation we are having right now is only 10%. The other 90% is the conversation we are having with our intention, the energy, what is coming up for you…
Maybe we show up, paint a good face on, and then we say “I am doing everything right, what is getting stuck?” That is because there is a lot happening inside. So you are… you as a whole, are you business. You are your reality. It is cool to be an entrepreneur because of this.
Nicole: Yeah so just to give you a little examples of the creations in my life since I was little… I grew up in a hard household. There was a lot of drug addiction, a lot of abuse, just a lot going on. My family did their best to raise me. I was a smart little thing. I was a smart ass too! I saw a lot of things and when we are younger our parents teach us a lot of things and the world teaches us things and we take it as face value. But when we grow up we get to decide what is truth and not truth. I picked up a nasty drug addiction when I was 16 and it lasted on and off for 20 years, I had an eating disorder… and all of these things for me were my way of coping with life.
So when Dov is talking about our cells and our DNA, we have trauma. And so our soul wants to sit beautifully in this body you have. And when there is trauma and negative thoughts you have about yourself and about the world and you are in doubt and fear your soul is just like “I do not want to go in that house”. Nobody wants to be in the trauma ridden house. So I didn’t want to be in my house so I just got really high to leave myself, to survive, to deal and to cope. That lasted a really long time but it stopped working after awhile. We do things in our lives that give us comfort, they give us something and after awhile they don’t work anymore because you actually have everything within you to be okay no matter what is going on in the world. So I went in and out of getting help and learning things, learning about my mind… and it took a really long time for me to finally wake up and decide that I was going to do something very different.
Whatever your mind is in that state where it gets you into a hole is not the mind that is going to get you out of that hole. But the awesome part about that is your mind can be corrected at every moment. I like to talk about universal laws because they are so beautifully and so true and there is nothing you can do to stop the energy of a universal law because it is truth.
There is the law of attraction, and I’m sure a lot of you know this… light attracts light. Whatever you are putting out you are going to get. Before the law of attraction there was the law of love. This law states love is the only thing that exists. Love has all of these other things going on like peace and joy and ecstasy and connection and laughter. The thing is we believe we don’t have that. And we believe life has to be hard and say things like “Oh I can’t be as rich as so-and-so, I can’t have that much peace…”
LISTEN. We all have access to the same stuff. There is also a law of growth. It states that growth is accumulative. This means you are never going backwards in your journey. My pain in my life, was the gem of my life. It is still what teaches me today that there is something very beautiful about pain, because when you go through pain and your back is against the wall and you feel you have no other option… do something different. You are abundant at all times. You have access making money. You have access to being happy. You have access to joy. I just wanted to share that.
Dov: When Nicole was talking I was thinking about what we believe. How through our fears, our traumas, our experiences, our families, our society, our culture… we have specific conditionings and ideas. The thought of “miracles don’t happen to me” or I can’t have this or my dream is too big or I need to settle or I’m not worthy…
Bouncing off what Nicole said, there are so many things we don’t question. We take at face value. Right?
“I need to work hard and a lot in order to save money”. Not true.
“I need to suffer in order to receive good”. Not true.
“Money is limited. Happiness is limited.” Not true.
“Pain is bad and should be avoided”. Not true.
We don’t question these things. We absorb them as truth. And then we run with that and we look around and ask “why am I stuck?!” That is what we are putting out even if we are not aware of it.
Money doesn’t grow on trees. In my experience it does… in the sense that it could fall out of the sky. We don’t realize even little things like that, joking beliefs, we set those as our cornerstones. It is very important for us to start to look at what is maybe not serving me. Is that belief system actually true?
So for example, the idea that we need to work a lot to make a lot of money. How many people… business people… have studied this and found this is not true? Are we holding on to all beliefs like this that aren’t working for us?
What is going on in your life that you have decided is separate form your business or whatever you are trying to get done now… and consider that it is not. It is seamless and absolutely relevant. When someone comes to talk to us and tells us they really need to work on their relationship and then we start talking about mom or career or what happened when you were three… but then they say I came to talk about my relationship. The thing is, your relationship is the way it is now because of all of those roots. When we work we trace back to the root, not the symptom. As a western culture we tend to be very symptom focused. When you have a headache, you tend to not ask yourself if you’ve had a water that day or eaten lunch, you just grab some Advil. This is a symptom based approach which we are all taught. If we have a bit of anxiety we don’t think maybe we need to check in with ourselves, maybe there is something I’ve been avoiding, maybe I’m self sabotaging, maybe this cold was created by me because I don’t want to go to this event.
This is beautiful because it means we are responsible for so much more than we see. I think we think responsibility is a dirty word. We don’t like it! Its like cough syrup. I invite you all to readopt responsibility with a new twist. If I am responsible, then I am not powerless. If I am responsible I have the power to create what I actually want to experience. I am not stuck in the things that I don’t want to be stuck in. Equate responsibility with opportunity, with freedom, with experience. Don’t taint it.
If you can come into this new concept of responsibility, it makes everything more successful. You’ve got Lauren, who is amazing! And she can tell you to do X, Y, and Z because she’s in this business and it’s worked before… but if we don’t want the responsibility to create that success OR we feel we are unworthy to have that, it doesn’t matter if the guru or all gurus comes down and says I have the key to everything you need in your life! You won’t hearit. You can’t absorb it. You can’t integrate it. We are looking for other peoples expertise and the tools and the support, but we are doing it in a way where we are saying we don’t want responsibility.
Sometimes we may feel so overwhelmed having to take care of all of our stuff, but what this creates if we had it off to someone else is resentment. We are not feeling empowered! That feeling of empowerment is everything! It is so vital. Think about this. Journal on this! What is this like for you!
You Are Your Thoughts/Words
Nicole: I want to change the speed a little… if you haven’t heard of Dr. Emoto, look him up! He started to take water and he took a piece of paper and would right love or hate or all of these different things underneath. Then he froze the water and put it under a microscope. And you can see the structure of the water would change because the frequency of the word. DUDE!
Let’s talk about this… when you say hate and anger the water was black! The love… the crystal looked like the prettiest snowflake. We are made up of over 80% water. Every thought you are having, everything you are speaking out is structuring your being.
ONE MORE TIME!
Everything that is coming out of your mouth and everything you are thinking… not only is it structuring you, but it is structing your reality. Really think about this! I want to give you an assignment. I want you to start to think about what you are actively thinking about. Let’s break this down.
If you tell yourself “you are a piece of shit”, write it down. If you say “I’m just stupid, I messed up”, I want you to write it on the piece of paper. These are LIES. These are things you made up. From what I understand about humans is that you are beautiful, you are gorgeous, you are worthy just because you were born and your feet are on this planet. YOU ARE COMPLETELY WORTHY.
Now I want you to start to think about how you talk to other people. Cause if you are nasty to other people I promise you when you are all alone with yourself, you are beating yourself up the same way. Everything that comes out of you is going right back in. Watch what you are saying to other people. Journal it. Look at it. And I want you to write LIE. LIE LIE LIE. We need to start figuring out what the lies are so we can uncover the truth and you can set yourself free. If you change the way you are thinking about yourself and others, you whole life will change.
Whatever is going on in your head is either going to amplify your dreams or block your dreams. Just start somewhere. The more you are awake and aware of what is happening, the more you can be conscious of everything. And you can understand your consciousness is creating it all.
Dov: 100%! We don’t bring a lot of consciousness. We move through things automatically. Bringing awareness to your reality… when we become aware we become able to control. This is a process.
Time and Gratitude
Dov: We are very destination focused. “I’m going to be happy at 5pm when I’m done working”. “I am going to be happy in five years…” Please think about a lot of these things that you feel need to come at some future point, are not contingent to anything external in your reality. They are things you can choose right now. The only thing we really cannot replace on this lifetime is our TIME in this lifetime. I have wasted so many years like this… that is so many hours of our life we are waiting for some future moment to enjoy. This moment right now is the only thing that actually exist. The past is something that happened. The future is something we like to focus or worry on. The future isn’t an actual reality yet. We pressure ourselves to get there. We tend to be not present and so we don’t enjoy a lot. Then you are not creating gratitude.
How do I create that abundance (love, connection, joy, etc), when I’m stuck? Gratitude. That means we need to be grateful for the present moment. Its not a conceptual gratitude, it is an active gratitude. Write it down. Say it. That energy is what things grow from. When Nicole said you are creating your energetic environment all the time, guess what happens when you are like “I really want clients” and they come close to you and you’re like “Ehh”. They runaway from you because they feel your anxiety and frustration. Everything you touch… a website, a product, and email.. you touched it. Your energy is being transferred in it.
You don’t have to believe me. Try it! See what happens when you make a video feeling excitement and gratitude, or you make one when you pretend to be. Try it! You don’t have to take my word for it… try! Look back in time at other things you were scared to fail or you thought it would be a disaster. Guess what? You’re here right now! It obviously was never so much of a disaster you couldn’t be here in this moment. And you know what else came from that experience? Learning.
I don’t like the word failure, so I call it perceived failure. That is not an excuse to give up on yourself. It is valuable. What if we changed the way we looked at it? You are dictating the show ALL THE TIME. The universe is just asking you what you want.
Are you clear? We often are not. The universe will ask us what we want and we order sushi and spaghetti… and the universe says “I have no idea what you want so either you get nothing or a tone of nonsense”. Are we clear about what we want? Sometimes when we work with someone they realize they didn’t even want their business to work out because they hate it. Or they don’t know what they want to do because they were doing what they thought was right. Can you get clear? That’s your intention.
Nicole: Just to add to that, sometimes we are really clear with our intention and we are really focused and then we start losing shit. We lose a job. People aren’t talking to us. Things are breaking. And you think “What am I doing wrong!?”. The universe is removing everything in your life that is the way of you getting that. The universe will remove things that are standing in the way… and when we look back and we realize if I had ever had that I wouldn’t be here. If I had stayed in that friendship, it wasn’t good for me. I needed to leave room for something new.
When you are grateful the universe is “Cool you’re ready for more”. Dov and I learned the hard way about gratitude. We both left our respective careers when we got this calling from within that we needed to change careers. Dov was a lawyer and I had a really cool business in NYC. I sort of received this message from the universe saying you need to leave your job and move to Florida. I looked at Dov one morning and told her we are moving to Florida. She kind of rolled her eyes and asked when are we moving. And I said October 1 we will be there. We pulled up October 1. We didn’t have the money for the move. I didn’t know where I was going to live. Start building a website. Start launching our business. And all of a sudden I am broke. Fear set it. Dov and I had to dig so deep… we made note of everything we were grateful for. We were in crisis and questioning things. First off, a lot of our friends helped us. My family helped us. Now I’m seeing money growing on trees because people are willing to help. We knew we had a lot to offer humanity. We wanted to share it. So we were grateful and we started to hang on. All of the sudden the universe said “I know what you want and you are not going to take another job”. I got the chills and all of the sudden the calls were coming in. At amounts where it was really shocking. We had more than we could handle. Don’t pray for more than you can handle. All of this happened very quickly. In six months we created a six figure business… we were in our genius. We did what we loved. We knew what we were good at. We were expressing ourselves fully. I’m being authentic and vulnerable and we connect. We connect in our shit! It is the best feeling ever to know you are not alone.
You need to take care of yourself. You need to be doing what you love. You need to be getting enough sleep. Do not do anything our of obligation. You are not serving yourself or the people you are showing up for. I remember the day I really took in the word “no”. I went crazy with it. That left room for big huge yeses because I was doing what I wanted and it left room for me to really show up. Its really okay to just allow yourself to be who you are, feel what you’re feeling.
Judgement. There is no room for judgement in life. We are here to experience life.
Lauren: Yes, I feel this. Something is very heavy with our group today.
Nicole: This year is about really getting what you are seeking. Last year was the year of the fire rooster and everything was happening very quickly. When you go through a fire everything true and beautiful will show up in the end and the shit is gone. But it feels like crap! This year is very different, but when are about to have all of these beautiful breakthroughs two things happen. We have a breakdown. And a lot of sabotage. When we are about to go to the next level we will sabotage ourselves every time because it is scary! There is nothing to be afraid of, there is only good things coming.
Dov: We tend to judge ourselves. Self-judgment activates the same part of our brain as rewards. So when we judge ourselves we think “treat, treat”! We have to train ourselves out of judgement.
Everything we have talked about today is great, but it is going to also trigger the parts of us that need to die away. Imagine if we put a spotlight on the things that are not true. What happens? Whatever is getting the light starts to freak out. I love to talk about triggers. It is good. If you are feeling a bit of anxiety or heaviness… that’s okay! You can’t free it if you don’t see it.
We have this Ego self. It is not the way we use in common terms. The ego is the mind persona. It identifies with your conscious mind. You are bigger than your Ego. You are an energy. When you start realizing you are responsible, you are creating, you are loved… BIG TRUTHS… that ego part is going to tell you not to listen. It starts to trigger our sabotage. It wants us to set the house on fire so we can’t make it to that interview.
We worry a lot about triggering other people. But that is their response and it can be a good thing. How many times has someone triggered you and a couple of days later it creates a breakthrough for you? What is coming up for you?
Sometimes we can get overwhelmed. I’m hearing... this is all great, but you can do it and I can’t. I don’t think there is anyone who can’t do it. If you are thinking this isn’t for you… leave room for change. Think about what you qualify yourself with. Maybe you’re a mom, you’re anxious, you have your own business… but what your qualifiers are is not who you actually are. You don’t want to lose yourself in this. Whenever I hear someone say “people do not change”, it infuriates me. You change at every given second. You are not even the same person right now them when I told you everything changes. The only reason your life might look like you are not changing is because you are giving yourself the choice to continue to create the reality to make it look like you are the same person. Every moment is a new canvas. We either chose to create the same thing or something new. There is always that opportunity.
Your life is a constant state of miracle. Everything else is where you are stuck. We are so used to is because we have so many blocks and conditions, that we think miracles rarely happen. Things start to line up!
Another thing I want to dive into is this feeling we get sometimes that we have to do things alone. We are built to interact with others and be a community. Nicole and I have a special relationship that we didn’t get into earlier, but it is our relationship that brought us to our gifts and our jobs and why we serve. Don’t do it alone! We all have blindspots and need a different level of support. Including people all the way at the “top”. You are only going to go as high up in your life as low as you are able to go. If you have these big dreams, but when the dark stuff comes up you walk away… its not going to work.
Lauren: Embrace the cycles. Take the good with the bad.
Nicole: To be at peace with ourselves and forgive others and have all these high frequencies, we need to let others things go and let go of our low frequencies. We have to work through those things.
Any little place I need refinement… I ask for help! I will never do it alone! The more money we invested in ourselves, the more money came in. The money swings back around. If you give to yourself, you’ll see it.
Trust in the universe only happens through experiences. You will learn this.
Lauren: For the first time in 30 years this happened for me… this is the power of what Dov and Nicole are talking about! For example… for the Macbook I needed because mine was about to explode, I got a check from State Farm from 2012 because I overpaid $287.00. What?! What!? Does that even happen? It happened! There is power and truth in what these two beautiful ladies are saying.
I wanted to bring them on for two reasons. The main reason is because I love them. The second is because I feel as entrepreneurs we often feel everything needs to be compartmentalized. This element of us and our business and our life… and it is so far from the truth. When you embrace all of those parts you create a stronger you and it trickles down.
Dov: When I was practicing law… I would have me at work me, me at home me, me with certain friends me… why are there so many versions of me? I want to be one whole version of me that expresses all of these parts all the time. I’m not saying every ounce of your dirty laundry needs to be exposed (we still need to assess it), but the potential of how you can be a more complete you is amazing!
The impact someone has on you is always your willingness. Your freewill trumps everything. You had a change Lauren because of your willingness. You are ready and open!
Lauren: When I met these ladies I had already decided I wanted to live my life differently and make a change. And so I wanted that reflected in my business. I wanted my business to be different from any other wedding expert. I wanted to create something for my community that was different because that’s what we needed.
Dov and Nicole… they are paving the way for how officiating is going to start looking. You better believe it! I am so excited for them! These two are bringing their gifts and talents and strengths to the table, but they are now offering a service to clients to marry them. I’d love for them to tell you about it.
Dov: Thank you so much! We have a twinflame connection and we started just with these relationships and community… relationships are an amazing catalyst to your growth. What happens after all the excitement from the first couple of years is gone? You are faced with yourself! At that point you are looking at you and whatever is going on in there and your partner is becoming a giant mirror of your crap. That is not easy. But that is an amazing opportunity to grow.
Nicole knew she wanted to bring people into those sacred connections and elevating those relationships where the relationship isn’t just about what are you giving me and I’m giving you… but how are we growing eachother and serving the world?
People ask how can you stay with someone forever, especially in a society where we currently have a high divorce rate. It is because it is about growth! Self observation! Not only bringing people through this spiritual process through a union.. but also taking people through a process of 3-6 months prior to that talking about wouldn’t it be cool if you knew eachother on a level you didn’t even know yourselves? And then all of that weight, all of that baggage is gone! We all have it! It is your trauma, the way you bonded… you have backpacks filled with trauma and being about to clean this out is important. Lets help you release it and have tools with your partner.
We recently did a wedding in New York where we were able to connect these energies.
Lauren: I will connect you to their social media and information because these two ladies are amazing and have so much to offer! This is something that will revolutionize marriage, relationships, the wedding industry…
Dov: This has been so much fun!
Nicole: We love you guys!
Lauren: Thank you all for joining us!